Tuesday, June 17th was a historic day for same sex couples all over California, but for us (Dave and I) we were priviledged to be invited to a very special joining of two people who were able to finally able to commit legally after a 15 year wait.

Am I saying this wasn’t historic? Hell, no! What I am saying is that admit all the political hoopla, media and photo ops that the day invited, Paul Waters and Kevin Voecks very clearly showed us that two people who love each other can share their union amid their family, friends and more cakes then my hips can handle.

The event took place at a quiet, corporate setting, beneath the trees with the river nearby. The grooms invited us into their lives by sharing stories. We learned who they loved and laughed with and that so many small things had special meaning. I wiped tears out of my eyes, as my 4″ heels sunk into the grass, thankful to be a part of their historic day.

A Times reporter is there when, capping a day of last-minute bustle, two men are wed after 15 years together. (The auto slide show is fabulous!)

Last year I had the pleasure of my first Team In Training season by training for 4 months with coaches, mentors and other cyclists working towards what would have been my first Century Ride in Honolulu. The day before our warm up event (Cool Breeze Century), I had to fly to Mexico for the start of 6 months of being all things to all people. I not only missed Cool Breeze but Honolulu as well. Some of you have already heard the sad saga.

My daughter also had a disappointment at Honolulu. She got about 16 miles in and went “endo”, in addition to bounce, slide and roll, taking her and a few layers of skin out of the event.

We consoled ourselves by saying we would tackle Honolulu in 2008. We took on another TNT season and did Solvang 2008 to make sure we stayed focused on our training and signed up for other events along the way. Sign up time for Honolulu is around the bend. *drumroll*

I was floored to find that we would still be on the plane as the sun set and Erev Rosh Hashannah would be starting. There would be no way that I could have family together and start the holiday that begins our year together. We’ve spent a lot of time as a family working on our goals to make a difference to others. It is not just the fund raising but the hours that Dave has spent driving Rachael and I to training and standing in parking lots with Josh until we returned. The days he has run SAG or that Josh could not play with his friends because it would mean that there would be no one to pick him up because Rae and Mommy are cat 5s and generally in later then others, plus other sacrifices that we willingly made. But to give up Rosh Hashannah and perhaps one of the final ones that my parents may be able to join us for.. I just wasn’t ready for that.

So I’m bummed. Add that to next year’s plans, the year of The Great Bar Mitzvah and I’ve come to the realization that I won’t be doing the Honolulu Century until 2010. I had hoped to be a TNT mentor by that year but I don’t think I’ll have enough time with them under my belt. I’ve already learned it is what they see that makes the difference, so being away may really hurt me there.

None of this means I am giving up my other events. I’ll still be in Toronto for the 200 Km event to benefit the Princess Margaret Hospital, among others.

I sat in the tiny airplane bathroom and let the tears come unbidden. I don’t know why they picked that moment to surface but they had been welling in my eyes for a while and I had no desire to fight them back – not this time.

Maybe it was being in three countries in less than 24 hours and not sure which one needed me there most.

Maybe it was losing a friend last week, maybe it was finding another had passed too.

Maybe it was learning that the tumors are something you only think you are free of, until they decide to show themselves again.

Maybe it was meeting an old friend for the first time; familiar and yet foreign.

Maybe it was the fear that you can’t keep your children safe from everything and you may not always be there to protect them.

Maybe it was feeling too old, maybe it was feeling far too young.

It is not reasonable to think that I could do a century every month or week. It has nothing to do with my skill or my dedication. Actually, it does have to do with my dedication. My dedication to my family.

We ride every Saturday. Team in Training has a great plan to help get you to the goal. During this time Dave has trotted Rachael and I out every week, leaving the house at 6 am or earlier. Many times Josh has joined us as well. Dave may or may not SAG but the bottom line is that he has to wait in a parking lot each week 5 to 7 hours. Try this in the heat with an 11 year old who has nothing to do but stand there with you.

For things like the Cool Breeze metric (which I missed but Rae went to), Dave drove out the night before after Rae got off work and Josh was handled, then up in the early am to get her fed and to the event. Then drove back home that night. These rides are a lot of work for the family! Not to mention the cost of traveling. Doing this as a team effort in our house is cool when you have one cause a year – but I really can’t see asking them to follow me week in and week out to these events. AND be completely understanding when I don’t pull my weight around the house because “Mommy is tired. She rode her bike today with her cycling buddies”.

Having said that, I still plan to keep up my mid week rides and go to a few of the events (I have 2 lined up for November). I just won’t drag everyone out and I won’t do structured events. My hope is just to add miles to my PCH rides. If I work it right, I can get century miles under my belt and meet the family for dinner somewhere. This way I am off the cooking hook and I get a ride home. More importantly, I get “me” time and they don’t get put upon.